come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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