accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize