why didn't you poke me back
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
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