so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize