I cannot find my penis.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize