..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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