need another drink. this is the easiest way
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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