So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize