its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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