We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize