Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This is the prime rib incident all over again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize