I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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