So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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