yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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