Texts From Last Night

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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Alcohol?

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Sex with a fat chick.

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  (601): How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next? (318): Alcohol? (601): Sex with a fat chick. http://tfl.nu/6g9z
  Replies (16) Good night (703) Bad night (1456)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache

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  (860): New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache http://tfl.nu/a5vx
  Replies (22) Good night (4410) Bad night (544)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic

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  (234): omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic http://tfl.nu/8g4p
  Replies (12) Good night (6161) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins

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  (231): Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins http://tfl.nu/vh4d
  Replies (10) Good night (1471) Bad night (2996) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.

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  (440): Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved. http://tfl.nu/6524
  Replies (7) Good night (851) Bad night (5927) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up

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  (217): Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up http://tfl.nu/7l2l
  Replies (4) Good night (1645) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.

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  (562): The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend. http://tfl.nu/pf8e
  Replies (5) Good night (1236) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.

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  (780): I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past. http://tfl.nu/8nfc
  Replies (3) Good night (1342) Bad night (545) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water

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  (405): You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water http://tfl.nu/d1ur
  Replies (5) Good night (1439) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunday is the day of rest.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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  (857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5
  Replies (3) Good night (1876) Bad night (323)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!

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  (937): NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!! http://tfl.nu/92wz
  Replies (2) Good night (1384) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.

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  (818): I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots. http://tfl.nu/3p7b
  Replies (2) Good night (254) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.

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  (817): Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it. http://tfl.nu/xes0
  Replies (8) Good night (1006) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you

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  (707): He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you http://tfl.nu/2xma
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week

  (1-415): View more from California

  I don't deserve you.

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  (415): I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week (1-415): I don't deserve you. http://tfl.nu/jnri
  Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (84) Order T-Shirt

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