you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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