so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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