o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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