This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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