haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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