Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
dude. I can hear the air.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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