yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
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