A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
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