How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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