I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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