Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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