ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize