Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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