OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
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i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
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I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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