i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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