it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he was CRYING into my vagina
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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