nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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