The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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