Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize