his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize