I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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