What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
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Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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