smell my finger.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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