I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize