If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize