maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The best revenge is premature balding
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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