I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
operation have a gay friend backfired
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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