Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish you could order shots online.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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