Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize