remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize