Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize