well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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