It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize