I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
the day after is always just damage control
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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