discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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